Thursday, January 23, 2014

Real Men, Political Nuts, and Poetry



Here's a link to the politician referred to in the essay: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2014/01/22/illinois-gop-candidate-says-god-put-autism-and-dementia-on-earth-as-punishment-for-marriage-equality-and-abortion/

And here's the poem I read "10 Things My 30's Taught Me"



Number 1- There is no One, the ultimate One, the singular One, that will make all your dreams come true. The fairy tale nonsense of our childhoods is incapable of surviving the 21st century. The most you can hope for is a 0.6 that you round up to one.

Number 2- Sometimes you will love two people at once. Accept it and see if they love you in return. Love is not a finite resource, not some emotional fossil fuel that can be used up and burned away. That would be Time, which you will only have so much of. Cherish the moments with the ones you love. Drink deeply of their lives and let them drink even deeper of yours.

Number 3- 30 is a threshold for understanding. You begin to put away childish things and realize that life will not slow down, will not let you off but will instead throw you off, like a catastrophic tornado, but only when it’s had enough fun with your ass.

Number 4- Fuck as often as possible. It doesn’t get any easier when you’re past thirty. The jobs will not be plentiful or the bosses as lenient, unless you’re fucking your boss, in which case see how much time you can get before they consider you tardy.

Number 5- Be prepared for the funerals. Our mistakes could be costly a decade ago. Now, it’s almost a guarantee that tragedy will come. We will lose our parents, grandparents, siblings, and elder advocates in short order. No one escapes this life alive.

Number 6- Cherish every fucking waking moment as if you were ready to die tomorrow. Block the annoying prick on Facebook. Tell the boyfriend who can’t stop cheating on you to find another place to sleep. Tell your homophobic parents that they don’t get to have you around as a punching bag any longer.

Number 7- Your sexuality is yours so own it, wear it proudly, and forget anyone who doesn’t understand. There is nothing wrong with you. You are glorious, a sensation in skin that will flicker and die out before you know it. Wrap your arms around your desires and caress them until they give up all the dirty secrets.

Number 8- If you believe in the political machine, more power to you. If you do not, congratulations on realizing the game is rigged. If you are under the age of 40, you are at the behest of your parent’s generation, The Baby Boomers, who did more drugs than everyone here combined and enjoyed the fast times life can produced in dispersed bundles. They hate you, hate the freedoms that you accept, and hate the hurdles you’ve avoided. Our parents and grandparents hate us because we find it so easy to accept what they took a lifetime to learn to hate.

Number 9- Cynicism is nice in a pinch but don’t let it get the better of you. We are all stupid monkeys hurtling around a gaseous star trying to understand a little bit before we die.


Number 10- To echo Bukowski, we were born like this, into this. Mrs. Death laughs and laughs. Ancient wisdom once gave us a good piece of advice when Death smiles upon us. Face the bastard and smile back. Show the bitch your ticket, that golden ticket to the show, and shake your finger when she reaches for it. Smile and shake your finger. 

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